hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Someone signed my nipple.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize