do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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