oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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