Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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