those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize