If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
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