do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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