i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It's never too late to be topless.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize