Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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