we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize