Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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