i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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