Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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