So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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