something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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