are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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