We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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