i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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