thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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