she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize