I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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