Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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