she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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