She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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