He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize