I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the knife in your bed.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize