my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
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Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
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There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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