I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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