We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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