Betty ford says i'm here all night
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize