it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
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Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
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I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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