Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize