I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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