He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I forget how to act sober
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