I just saw a hot homeless man
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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