Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
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