Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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