I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize