i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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