Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize