alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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