What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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