sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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