You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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