we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
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Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
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Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize