I have demons in me.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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