I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize