so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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