That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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