He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
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You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
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In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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