I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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